I realize that many people will not agree with what I'm about to write, but what I convey comes from my direct experience, and it is something I feel compelled to share.
I believe we are depressed because we are not existing in our true home. We are spiritual beings who belong with the unconditional love and light of the Divine, but are instead living in physical form. This is like forcing a bird to wear scuba gear so it can live in the sea.
Could a bird learn to be happy living underwater? Perhaps. But inevitably some birds will realize that something does not feel right. Something will continue to gnaw at them, and unless they have some knowledge of who they truly are, and to live in ways that reflect their True Selves, peace will be hard to come by.
Spiritual beliefs and practices were always my core foundation for healing at a deeper soul level. But I always kept my spiritual beliefs at a safe level. I didn't want to (or wasn't able to) completely believe in anything that seemed too weird or new agey. Chakras, energy bodies, smudging, healing herbs, and crystals. These all seemed like silly and unrealistic new age ideas. Even more important, I didn't want other people to laugh at my strange spiritual beliefs.
But then when I was 41 I had my first energy healing. It blew me away. For the first time in my life, I felt like my thoughts and emotions were completely cleansed. This healing, as well as the soul retrieval I had two weeks later, literally blew my mind. This was followed by full blown spiritual experience that lasted a good two weeks.
Since then I have learned to sense my chakras and blocks in my energy system, use herbs for healing baths and smudges, and to be open to spiritual healing techniques and teachings. But most of all, I learned to strengthen my connection to the Divine in ways that I wasn't able to before.
This connection guides me and heals me. It helps me to realize who I Truly am and to envision a world that I wish to see, rather than trying to fit into a world that does not reflect who I am at my core.
I believe my depression has been a calling for me to come back Home. I have seen this in ayahuasca ceremonies, in my spiritual teachings, and can feel it in my heart and in the depths of my soul. It teaches me to let go of the things in this world and focus on love. My pain is caused by my attachment to being human, and all of the cultural, societal, familial, and personal expectations on what it means to be a special and deserving human being. These definitions of happiness say I need to look young, have a family, fulfill a special purpose in life, or whatever. When in reality, if I simply know my True Divine Self and just focus on love, there would be no need for that.
The answer is to know ourselves as Love. To love and forgive ourselves unconditionally. To envision a world where love across all ethnic, cultural, religious, and geographical boundaries is possible. To see the Divine in the people we meet. To know that the Divine is with us, supporting and guiding us in a multitude of ways.
I believe that the closer we get to doing this, the more we can heal.
We might need additional tools to help us through, including self help techniques, therapy, or energy healings. But if we keep up the practice of knowing ourselves and others as Divine Love, then we get closer to creating our True Home right where we are on earth. I believe this is the true path to healing.
P.S. As a side note, I no longer care what people thing about my spiritual beliefs, although I am still careful about who I express them to. In fact, I can now talk about guides, angels, crystals, and spiritual herbs so confidently that my friends, family, and even some co-workers, listen openly and without judgment!
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